How I Deal With Criticism, Online Hate & Staying Unshaken

Let’s have a real conversation.

If you’ve been online lately, you’ve probably seen the hate I’ve been getting over my teeth. Who knew veneers would cause this much commotion? I’m not gonna lie, it’s kind of wild. But that’s not even the point. We’re not here to talk about my teeth. We’re here to talk about the haters. Not in a messy, clap back way. In a let’s actually understand how to handle this kind of way.

I’ve had online haters and people criticizing me before being a social media influencer was even a real career. I’m a millennial, okay? I had Myspace. I had AIM. I specifically remember making a Twitter account in 10th grade just to talk to my friends. And now, years later, it’s the same app people use to tear me apart. or at least they TRY. very hard might i add. I don’t let them.

And I’m going to tell you why.

As a millennial, I dealt with online hate in middle school. Yes, Middle school. Imagine being young, unsure, in your ugly duckling phase and then you hav a bunch of people talking about you on a world wide website. I swear it prepared me to be the big sensation I am today. Back then, I had to learn not to look. I had to learn how to be strong without a motivational quote or a therapist explaining it to me. It wasn’t glamorous. It was just survival.

Most people don’t have that kind of origin story. Most people weren’t conditioned early to handle thousands of opinions about them. And that’s okay. But it’s also why I feel responsible for giving you the blueprint most people never received when trying to be visible online.

Being online is hard. It’s not just “mean comments.” It can be death threats. It can be people criticizing your looks. People giving opinions about your family, your relationship, your downfalls. People making up fake rumors. And now? Everyone gets paid to post about everyone’s business. Drama channels, reaction pages, think pieces. But in this day & age, You HAVE to understand something important: Times are hard, Attention is spread thin and time is going faster & faster each day. People are desperate to make ends meet and everyone now has the opportunity to get paid from a simple “post” click to their touch screen phone. This is only one angle of it. just ONE. There are a bunch more perspective to look at this through, but this is just one that I find is a common denominator.

Since the beginning of time, drama, gossip, and public criticism have always generated attention, and attention has always generated money. Controversy sells. Curiosity spreads. People have built entire careers off discussing other people’s lives. That’s why Wendy Williams was able to have a successful daytime talk show centered around “Hot Topics.” The appetite for commentary isn’t new, it’s human nature.

Centuries ago, pamphleteers built audiences by publicly criticizing political figures and royalty. In ancient Rome, public forums thrived on gossip about emperors and scandals. In early American history, publishers like William Randolph Hearst grew massive empires on sensational headlines and public intrigue. Even figures like Truman Capote became cultural forces by writing about the private lives of high society in a way that stirred conversation and controversy.

Its why the newspaper was even created in the first place, to keep people in THE KNOW.

The only thing that changes about this cycle is the platform is posted on.

So you cannot internalize it.

A lot of what looks like “criticism” isn’t constructive criticism. It’s desperation. It’s engagement. It’s someone trying to monetize outrage. When you understand that, it stops feeling so personal.

That doesn’t mean it never stings. I’m human. But I’ve trained myself not to let it define me. I don’t go searching for negativity. I don’t sit there and marinate in every opinion. I protect my peace on purpose.

STOP READING EVERYTHING

You do not need to consume every opinion about yourself. I know the curiosity is strong. you want to see what’s being said. But most of the time you’re just volunteering to hurt your own feelings. Protect your nervous system. Not everything deserves your eyes.

SEPERATE CRITICISM FROM PROJECTION

Some feedback is real and useful. I take that. I grow from that. But a lot of what people say is projection. No one is going to flat out tell you what area they are struggling to understand their self in. A lot of times, they are triggered. If it’s constructive, apply it. If it’s emotional and messy, let it fly. Everything is not yours to carry.

DONT LET STRANGERS REWRITE YOU

If you read something about yourself enough times, you’ll start questioning who you are. That’s how narratives take over. Stay anchored in real life. your real friends, your real wins, your real character. The internet doesn’t know you like that.

UNDERSTAND THE ATTENTION ECONOMY

Negativity spreads faster than praise. That’s algorithms. That’s money. Outrage pays. When you understand that, you stop taking viral moments so personally. Sometimes it’s not about truth, it’s about traffic.

KNOW WHEN TO LOG OFF

Go outside. Go to dinner. Call someone who has known you since before all of this. The internet is loud, but it is not the whole world. Distance brings clarity. Lock in on yourself instead of licking in on the timeline.

THE REAL TRUTH

I’ve been online for over a decade. I’ve seen the cycles, the outrage, the fake narratives, the “cancellations.” And I’m still here.

Not because hate isn’t real. But because I decided it doesn’t get to define me. And it doesn’t get to define you either.

Let me say this to you like a big sister would. Haters are loud, peer pressure is real, and sometimes it feels like everyone has an opinion about how you should look, act, speak, or live. But most of that pressure is just fear disguised as advice. People project their limits onto you and call it realism. They try to shrink you and call it humility. You have to know who you are enough to not fold under that.

You are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to make choices that make sense for you. You are allowed to outgrow people, platforms, and versions of yourself. The noise will come and go, but your life is yours to live long after the comment section refreshes.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider this your verbal hug. You are stronger than you think. You are more capable than the narrative. And you absolutely have what it takes to handle pressure without losing yourself. Keep your head steady, keep your heart clean, and keep building anyway. You’ve got this. xoxox AJ